“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
― Jim Rohn Only Some People Lift You HigherAs my mom used to say to me when I was a kid, “You are who you spend your time with.” It wasn’t until I was in my late-twenties that I fully grasped what she was trying to say to me. I learned the hard way that the people you surround yourself with either lift you higher or bring you down – they energize you or drain you – they support you or criticize you – they make you smile or make you cry.
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, or call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. You need a small group of people in your life that lift you higher.
As Anaïs Nin so profoundly said, “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
So right here, right now, make it a goal to spend more time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Remember that relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from negative people, or simply the wrong people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live.
It’s all about finding your people! That’s the one thing you should know…
The people in your life make all the difference in the person YOU are capable of being.A Relationship’s Effect on Your Happiness
Your mindset and outlook in life is the most important thing in determining your level of happiness, but your relationships with others can drastically support your happiness quotient. Most people don’t realize the impact the type of people they surround themselves with has on their overall well-being.
the close, loving relationships people have with others is vitally important. The happiest people we’ve worked with live very close to family (or even with family members) or have close friends nearby (and many have both).
Simple Tips for Nurturing & Building Your Tribe
If you feel like your relationships have been suffering, or even if you feel tribe-less, rest assured in the knowledge that your tribe is out there. In addition, if supportive people already surround you, remember that there are likely many other members of your tribe that you have not met yet.
Here are five simple relationship-building tips that have helped us over the years:
1. Learn to enjoy your own company.
Ironically, the prerequisite to building healthy relationships is being comfortable when you’re all by yourself. If you’re starting fresh, with a minimal number of friends in your immediate vicinity, the reason for this is obvious: spending time alone is your only option. Likewise, if you have friends that have been dragging you down and negatively impacting your life, withdrawing from them and starting anew will likely require a bit more alone time.
Appreciating solitude starts with the conscious awareness of the freedom it brings. When you enjoy your own company you don’t need others around for the sake of having others around. You can be flexible about who you choose to spend time with, instead of letting your fear of being alone suck you into social situations and relationships that aren’t right for you.
2. Make time for the important people in your life, and be 100% present.
The healthiest relationships are comprised of two people who are intimately familiar with each other’s evolving stories. These people make plenty of emotional room for their relationship, which means they sincerely listen to each other, they remember the major events each other have been through, and they keep up-to-date as the facts and feelings of each other’s reality changes.
The key thing to remember is that nothing you can give is more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention – your full presence. Being with someone, listening without a clock and without anticipation of the next event is the ultimate compliment. It is indeed the most valued gesture you can make to them, and it arms you with the information you need to truly know them and support them in the long run.
3. Nurture your tribe by helping others achieve their goals.
Be a facilitator of healthy relationships. Connect people in your social network who have common interests or missions; give them access to the information and resources they need to connect, and let them know that you’re available if they need further assistance. What goes around comes around.
4. Work together on something meaningful.
If there are one or two people you already know who you would like to strengthen your relationship with, try to find a way to work together on something that intrigues both of you. You could plant a communal garden together, or meet once a week to complete unfinished projects – such as a writing, painting or website project. Working with others on meaningful projects can help you strengthen your bonds with them.
― Jim Rohn Only Some People Lift You HigherAs my mom used to say to me when I was a kid, “You are who you spend your time with.” It wasn’t until I was in my late-twenties that I fully grasped what she was trying to say to me. I learned the hard way that the people you surround yourself with either lift you higher or bring you down – they energize you or drain you – they support you or criticize you – they make you smile or make you cry.
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, or call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. You need a small group of people in your life that lift you higher.
As Anaïs Nin so profoundly said, “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
So right here, right now, make it a goal to spend more time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Remember that relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you – people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. When you free yourself from negative people, or simply the wrong people, you free yourself to be YOU – and being YOU is the only way to truly live.
It’s all about finding your people! That’s the one thing you should know…
The people in your life make all the difference in the person YOU are capable of being.A Relationship’s Effect on Your Happiness
Your mindset and outlook in life is the most important thing in determining your level of happiness, but your relationships with others can drastically support your happiness quotient. Most people don’t realize the impact the type of people they surround themselves with has on their overall well-being.
the close, loving relationships people have with others is vitally important. The happiest people we’ve worked with live very close to family (or even with family members) or have close friends nearby (and many have both).
Simple Tips for Nurturing & Building Your Tribe
If you feel like your relationships have been suffering, or even if you feel tribe-less, rest assured in the knowledge that your tribe is out there. In addition, if supportive people already surround you, remember that there are likely many other members of your tribe that you have not met yet.
Here are five simple relationship-building tips that have helped us over the years:
1. Learn to enjoy your own company.
Ironically, the prerequisite to building healthy relationships is being comfortable when you’re all by yourself. If you’re starting fresh, with a minimal number of friends in your immediate vicinity, the reason for this is obvious: spending time alone is your only option. Likewise, if you have friends that have been dragging you down and negatively impacting your life, withdrawing from them and starting anew will likely require a bit more alone time.
Appreciating solitude starts with the conscious awareness of the freedom it brings. When you enjoy your own company you don’t need others around for the sake of having others around. You can be flexible about who you choose to spend time with, instead of letting your fear of being alone suck you into social situations and relationships that aren’t right for you.
2. Make time for the important people in your life, and be 100% present.
The healthiest relationships are comprised of two people who are intimately familiar with each other’s evolving stories. These people make plenty of emotional room for their relationship, which means they sincerely listen to each other, they remember the major events each other have been through, and they keep up-to-date as the facts and feelings of each other’s reality changes.
The key thing to remember is that nothing you can give is more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention – your full presence. Being with someone, listening without a clock and without anticipation of the next event is the ultimate compliment. It is indeed the most valued gesture you can make to them, and it arms you with the information you need to truly know them and support them in the long run.
3. Nurture your tribe by helping others achieve their goals.
Be a facilitator of healthy relationships. Connect people in your social network who have common interests or missions; give them access to the information and resources they need to connect, and let them know that you’re available if they need further assistance. What goes around comes around.
4. Work together on something meaningful.
If there are one or two people you already know who you would like to strengthen your relationship with, try to find a way to work together on something that intrigues both of you. You could plant a communal garden together, or meet once a week to complete unfinished projects – such as a writing, painting or website project. Working with others on meaningful projects can help you strengthen your bonds with them.
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