9 Networking Blunders That Undermine Your Reputation

I’ve been called the "queen of networking" for
longer than I can remember. At one point, I felt
like this was, perhaps, an insult, since so many
people think networking is a bad word. But I later
realized that’s simply because too many people
do it poorly, thus giving networking a bad name.
After countless conversations, speeches, and
seminars teaching people how to better network,
here are the nine ways that you might be
contributing to the bad wrap that networking gets.
1. You don't get buy-in.
One of the linchpins of networking is the ability
to create value-add relationships for others,
which begins with an introduction. That intention
is pure and necessary. Where the error begins is
when you blindly send a three-way email
introduction (or worse, just give someone the
third party’s contact info) so that you and your
original conversation partner know the
introduction is coming, but the third party is in-
the-dark.
I much prefer to take the extra step of calling or
emailing before making an introduction to get the
buy-in from the third party. This preps everyone
and makes the introduction seamless and more
importantly, invited by all parties.
Of course, there are circumstances where this
isn’t necessary because you are certain it’s a
value-add to both parties and/or you have such a
trusted relationship with the third party that you
know it will be a warranted introduction. When
deciding how to proceed, put yourself in the
shoes of the third party and ask yourself, “If I got
a blind email connecting me to this person by
this person, how would I feel?”
2. You don't follow up.
Follow up is critical both to keep the momentum
going once an introduction is made and to close-
the-loop afterward. The biggest problem is when
someone makes an introduction for you and you
never let that person know what happened as a
result. This is a fast way to inadvertently signal to
that person that you don’t value their time or that
they leveraged their reputation with the other
party. Do a quick follow up and share what
occurred (as well as to say thank you).
3. You keep bad company.
It’s no wonder that when we were kids, our
parents were so concerned about whether or not
we were hanging out with the ‘bad kids’. You are
the company you keep, both by osmosis and by
the perception of others. The good news is, if you
keep great company, you get to ride on their
reputational equity as well as glean great traits
from them. But when we keep poor company,
they bring us down and lessen the way others
perceive us. Consider doing some housekeeping.
4. You take too long.
I believe that 24 business hours is the maximum
amount of time you have to follow up with
someone before you begin to look like you don’t
care or think you are too important. We are all
busy and pulled in a lot of directions. But your
reply can be as simple as, “I’m back-logged on
email right now and wanted you to know that I
saw your note. I will get back with you as soon as
possible, and look forward to connecting soon!”.
5. You only look out for yourself.
One of the primary reasons networking has a
sullied reputation is so many people who claim
to be "networking" are simply out for their own
advantage. It’s best to shift your mentality to
being curious when you meet or connect with
people. Ask them meaningful questions and
really listen. See what you can learn and how you
can find connection points. Always ask how you
can help them in some way, not with an
expectation of what you can get in return.
6. You only think up.
It’s not uncommon to think that the only way to
advance is to buoy yourself to people with higher
titles or more perceived power. While it’s fine to
connect with people who are further along in
their careers, don’t forget that there’s also value
in meeting people in every direction of where you
are in your career trajectory: down, laterally and
up.
7. You underestimate the power of someone’s
Rolodex.
When you meet someone, you’re not meeting just
them, you’re meeting hundreds of people. As we
can see from social media, people have hundreds
(if not thousands) of contacts. While some are
naturally stronger than others, keep in mind that
they are a gatekeeper to the people they know and
to whom they could introduce you. Don’t write
someone off because you don’t see immediate
value.
8. You don’t do what you say you’re going to
do.
This is a quick way to chip away at trust and
lessen your credibility. If you say you’ll follow up
with an email today, do it. If you say you’ll be at
the dinner, be there and be on time.
9. You think you don’t need to network.
As someone who hosts monthly networking
events in three cities for hundreds of people at
each event, I often hear this when I extend
invitations. When you say you “don’t need to
network”you’re saying you will never be in need
of the help of others nor do you want to meet
anyone new to help them.
Networking is a fancy word for relationship
building, so you’re basically saying that you are
happy to live with the circle you’ve created and
have put up a wall to anyone else. What you may
mean is that you’re not currently looking for
something you think you can gain from meeting
new people (refer back to point 5) or that you
don’t like big events, in which case, express that.
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If you see yourself in any of these networking
faux-pas, consider working on them in the New
Year to expand your circle!