By Dr Paul Bundi Human beings are endowed with remarkable resilience, which can only be broken when they choose to give up. Says Viktor Frankl in his seminal book, Man's Search for Meaning; ''it is a peculiarity of man that he can only live by looking to the future-sub specie aeternitatis. And this is his salvation in thd most difficult moments of his existence, although he sometimes has to force his mind to the task.'' Man's life is primarily driven by the desire for future, the unshakable belief that the future holds promise. We invariably cease to live when we think we have hit a dead end, or that there's nothing more to be had by living. Theoretically, there is no limit to man's achievement, and that is what drives men to wake up and strive day after day. The opposite is spiritual, psychological death, which manifests way ahead of physical death. Lesson? Losing today doesn't mean losing always. You can lose 10 times and win the 11th time. Or, you
1. SNOOP AROUND HIS phone
by snooping around his phone, I don’t meanthe usual check his phone every now and then, nah, this is way more technical. Men are very smart and intelligent people really, if you show you are always interested in his phone, he would keep his phone clean at all times and that’s one major mistake ladies make. You want to know the perfect action to take? Never touch his phone, never; with that he would lose his guard around you, he won’t delete messages hastily because he has the belief you don’t touch his phone and that is when you strike. But if you are the type that’s always in a hurry to check a message, you might not see anything dear. This strategy looks so military; it’s about you bidding your time.
2. HIS BEHAVIOUR AROUND YOU IN PUBLIC
You need to be extremely sensitive here because he might still play so cool around you and you won’t notice a thing. When a guy changes his behaviour around you in public, something is definitely wrong; that’s a major sign most ladies purposely ignore so as to create that thought in their mind that their man still loves them. Every guy that loves his lady is usually proud to show her off to his friends and family, he doesn’t mind treating her like a queen in public; in short, he doesn’t care about what other people think. When there is a decline in this;you need to watch your back Miss, something is definitely wrong.
3. THE WAY HE ANSWERS HIS CALL AROUND YOU
When a guy is with his lady, he’s original, 100% real; if he gets a call from work or friends or any random person, he still remains that original person. But when the call is from a lady he is having a thing with, he tries to be original. There is a huge difference between both here and you have to be smart to note the difference; when he tries to be original then that means he’s faking. When he tries to maintain his calm, his pitch, his laugh style, his accent, his reactions so that he would look like his usual self then he’s faking and you have to know that. When he says stuffs like ‘’I’m with my girl/babe or boo’’ then he’s trying to play ‘coded’, it’s an easy trick and you could be thinking that your man is acknowledging you, better wake up. If he takes his phone to the bathroom for no reason too, there is trouble sis.
4. HE SPENDS LESS TIME WITH YOU
Yea, he needs to work, he needs to make money to take care of you, his family and all,he needs to be a man; that’s what you think and you’re right because that is the truth. But men are really smart; they put a lie behind that truth and make the truth look more intriguing. They know you know that they should be working and that is the mostcommon lie all cheating men hide behind because that is a major truth that can easilybe mixed with a lie and still sound so true. But you have to be smart here, no doubt many guys are workaholic, money is a must for us all, so we work hard to get it but that doesn’t mean we should forget our special lady; if he suddenly spends less time with you than he used to and doesn’t give a valid reason then something is definitely wrong. If a man loves a lady, even with all the hard work, he still tries to show her that she’s themost important person in his life.
5. HE SUDDENLY PAYS MORE ATTENTION TO HIS LOOKS
Before you try to argue, the key word here isSUDDENLY. If a guy starts paying attention to his looks extraordinarily, forget it. While growing up, his siblings must have definitely mocked his style, his friends too, probably some random neighbours and he didn’t really care or maybe he did care but he didn’t put much zeal to change. All of a SUDDEN, there is a certain urge to look cuter, dress smarter, look more appealing; sisters, trust me, something is wrong somewhere; this is no magic show.
6. HE PICKS UP QUARRELS EASILY
That’s the fastest, cheapest and most popular way both sexes (not just guys here)use to cause a break up. It is very old but it certainly does work. If he starts picking on everything you do, then that means he’s beginning to get irritated and once a guy starts getting irritated, forget it, you have lost him 79% already. But you have to be careful here, extremely careful; a guy can start acting irritated towards you for two reasons; (a) if he has another lady out there that’s thrilling his mind or (b) if you are irritating him with your attitude and behaviour. Most times women are so quick to point fingers when they need to be checking those fingers they are pointing.
7. SILLY ROUTINE CHANGE AND FREQUENT EXCUSES
There is this popular saying ‘’if a toad is running, it is either running after something or something is running after it.’’ Likewise your man; if he changes his personal routine or the routine that affects both of you for no real reason, then something is up, you got to check what he’s running after or what is running after him. Men are known to stick to their words; if your man starts giving frequent excuses then something might be up honey.
8. ASK HIM
I have a niche for saving the best for the last and don’t be shocked at this tip; it definitely works. The same way it got you shocked is the same way it would get him shocked when you ask him and this is where you need to be smart; forget the words he says next, listen to how he says it (I wonder if you would know the difference),watch his reaction and if you’re smart enough, you would get the answer you need. This question would throw him off balance like an upper cut in the game of boxing but it still depends on how you ask him. If you go all mortar and pestle on him, you would make no progress. Ask him subtly but with an obvious determination and then monitor his reaction; if he goes all violent which he has no reason to, then he’sa suspect. Violence is the easiest way to avoid a question; it doesn’t show maturity and only maturity would make a man not cheat on a woman he cares about.Like the movie, to get your man then you need to think like a man. A man might love you and still cheat on you but only a mature man would love and be with just you. Who are you dating ladies?Enjoy your relationship people, you only live once.
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