By Dr Paul Bundi Human beings are endowed with remarkable resilience, which can only be broken when they choose to give up. Says Viktor Frankl in his seminal book, Man's Search for Meaning; ''it is a peculiarity of man that he can only live by looking to the future-sub specie aeternitatis. And this is his salvation in thd most difficult moments of his existence, although he sometimes has to force his mind to the task.'' Man's life is primarily driven by the desire for future, the unshakable belief that the future holds promise. We invariably cease to live when we think we have hit a dead end, or that there's nothing more to be had by living. Theoretically, there is no limit to man's achievement, and that is what drives men to wake up and strive day after day. The opposite is spiritual, psychological death, which manifests way ahead of physical death. Lesson? Losing today doesn't mean losing always. You can lose 10 times and win the 11th time. Or, you
Last week, I had lunch with a very long term friend in Kisumu.
It is a friendship that goes several decades, Yaani kitambo, as we say in Alego, 19 pat opuk.
As we reflected on life, we laughed about our little house in Mathare North, Area 1,where we combined resources to pay for the sh 1,500 per month rent. We were 3 grown-up men, and several times we struggled to pay the rent. We also used to eat something called 0-0-1 (not Joho) but 0 breakfast, 0 lunch and 1 supper.....
Around the same area, we had other graduates, from KU, University of Nairobi and 2 from Moi University......
Several decades later, when we meet, you see the value of the Unseen Characteristics.....
In our group of about 10 new graduates in the 90s, only a few few made it. 3 died, and 3 are still living around Mathare North, living the life we lived...... Kukaa kwa Plot za 50 rooms, where each person has a single room, or at best double rooms.
On the other hand, we have in the group high profile fellows. One is a Regional Director of one of the Lucrative parastatals, another, a senior State Officer in charge of security in a whole county...
I then reflected and asked myself... What made the difference? Why would one graduate still hang around the slums several years after passing with Upper Second Grade. ... And another graduate have fleets of vehicles, several High Rise Apartments, and multi million businesses?
Why would one graduate still be living from hand to mouth nearly 30 years after graduating from a top University, and another graduate be an employer of several people??
There are several Unseen things I observed from the group of 10 graduates who lived around Mathare North. These characters are common among the ones that made it, and lacked in the ones that never made it.
1. BELIEF IN GOD
In our group, those that diligently went to RGC Huruma Yaani The Big Tent in the 90s, appeared to be in a better place several years later
2. Honesty and Integrity and Diligence
As you live in life these things will be of value. Success is a complex web of factors and events. Social Capital is what propels us to higher levels. If you are a person who says the truth. If you are a person whose Yes means Yes, if you are a person who keeps promises. If you are a person who can be relied on to deliver without excuses.... If you do right even if it hurts..... . Then you are on the right path... Uta kuwa mbali in a few years....
3. Controlled Appetite.... From the group that succeeded and the group that failed, you see a marked difference in terms of excesses. Two of those that died had an extra Appetite for drinking and smoking.... Another one had an excess appetite for eating vitu Tamu Tamu.... He would spend all his money eating fried pork, and be left with nothing... Those who had moderation, even if they took Alcohol or smoked, made it. But those who never took Alcohol or smoked, made it at a Higher level..
4. Avoiding Excess Sexual Activity.....
The players, the "ladies men" and the guys in our group that spent lots of time pursuing women and girls in the 90s, are now pursuing vibarua and working for ruthless Wahindi earning peanuts... Those guys who were faithful to one or avoided women are now doing well...
5. Savings
There was this guy that when we reached rock bottom, everyone knew that alikuwa ameweka kakitu.... He had a strict culture of saving.... He is among the best in terms of kutoboa... Having a culture of saving whatever you get is a game changer...
6..Right Marriage Partner
You can have all the above right characters, but if you get a wrong Spouse.. You are finished. Yaani, unekwisa.. You are Kaputt.... Marrying the wrong person is a direct ticket to the front seat in Hell on Earth....
7...Divine Favour....
Many call this Luck... I call it Divine Favour...
Several years later, you look back at the group you started with, the group you were with in the Ghetto, tarmacking and struggling.... You say, "Ni Mungu"
These and many others are the things that make the difference.... If you are still young, do not think that making it is automatic....
The choice is in your hands
***reflection in 2020
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