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27 LAWS OF MILITARY OFFICIALDOM

After intense painstaking ruminations on life's most recent experiences, I now consider these 27 underlisted as the laws that can guarantee a serviceman not just an illustrious career, but also an accident-free officialdom in any military.
1. Your rifle and your ammo are more important than your life. Better be dead than lose them.
2. You can never be the winner in any argument with your superior. Even when you have won.
3. Every commander needs your advice but not in public.
4. If there is a competition, don't come first, and don't come last.
5. Your soldiers are the backbone of your work. Treat them well.
6. If you offend a higher authority, carry your cross.
7. If your soldier offends a higher authority, carry his cross.
8. Remember that the smartest and most intelligent officers often do not get to the top. Only the most loyal ones do.
9. Don't be deceived. Many commanders do not like eye service.
10. Never "contest" a woman with your superior. It is the fastest way to die and many have gone that way.
11. The wife of your superior is either a goldmine or a landmine. If you are not sure of which she is, avoid her.
12. Be brave. Even if you are a coward.
13. If your superior admires your girlfriend, surrender her. If he admires your wife, stand by her. A girlfriend is an accolade. An accolade can be lost without dire consequences. Your wife is your crown. You are nothing without her.
14. Don't ever beg for mercy. It is the foremost manifestation of weakness and the military environment has no respect for weaklings.
15. Don't ever solicit for "welfare". If you are "issued", be very thankful.
16. Don't look for your seniors. Let them look for you. If they look for you, don't keep them waiting.
17. If you don't like a colleague, let him know you don't like him. If he takes steps to warm up to you, don't embrace him. Accommodate him.
18. A lie is an abomination - and a critical part of initiative.
19. If you are lucky to have stumbled on "mega" money, maintain your old lifestyle. If you can't maintain your old lifestyle, maintain a low profile. Camouflage and concealment are not only for the warfront. "Shine" is one reason things are seen.
20. Remember that drinking, smoking and womanizing are prominent features of the job yet, no medals are allocated for them.
21. Don't look too smart before your superiors. Instead, look stupid before them. People are generally comfortable with stupid people whom they can easily control.
22. Wait for your time.
23. Know that the enemy's degree of training is dependent on yours. If he is well trained, then, you are poorly trained. If he is poorly trained, you are well trained.
24. You are a soldier. Not a priest.
25. If you are tired of the job, resign.
26. Never reject a gift from a superior except in protest of a salient point. It is the greatest indirect show of disloyalty.
27. Be everywhere. Every time.

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