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The Bitter Truth Story of Kenyan Politicians

By Gilbert Kenya
In the world of REALPOLITIK our politicians can only be rivalled by the most seasoned harlots of Nairobi’s proverbial K- Street (I hear they’ve all since moved online and to the darker streets of leafy suburbs like Kilimani and Westlands). However, some twilight girls come across as smarter than the politicians.
The striking resemblance between our politicians and most twilight girls is their ability to change allegiance faster than lightning and instantly getting intimate with their new catch, while reserving all the filthy names for their previous clients/parties. If you ask, they will tell you: “This is the nature of the game!”
Nevertheless, smart twilight girls know that mentioning the client they were in bed with, the previous night – whether in good or bad light – is an instant put-off to the current client. Hence, for the sake of world peace, such mentions are a NO-NO. Their rule of thumb is: stick to the business of the day and avoid any topic on former clients. This is, however, one lesson our politicians have refused to learn.
In a bid to please their new party bosses and the new electorate they’re eyeing, they rant on and on about how pathetic their former parties were. At the end of the day, they themselves look so pathetic and dishonest. Not that they don’t know it. But, just like the peddlers of flesh, they say, “this is the nature of the game. Its name is REALPOLITIK!”
I always take such politicians with a pinch of salt, especially when they are joining my camp. If they’re doing it now against them, there is no guarantee that they can’t do it against you tomorrow!
As much as REALPOLITIK is inherently promiscuous and devoid of any moral considerations, some measure of decorum can always go a long way for any politicians who engage in it. For the sake of our children and tomorrow’s leaders, those defecting politicians must retain some sanity by learning to listen to themselves when they speak. Sometimes silence is golden, compared to lots of hot air.
The other day I watched the certified rhumba aficionado, Ambassador Chirau Ali Makwere aka “ZIPAPA” speak after defecting from Jubilee to Wiper party (NASA); and he was like, “..wale wengine sijui wanajiitaaa, wanajiitaaa, wanajiitaaa, sijui, sijui…..Jubilee,… waaambie sisi ni, sisi ni, sisi niii…..NASAAAAA!”
This is a man, who up to last month, was earning a salary as ambassador of Kenya to Tanzania, courtesy of Jubilee gov’t!
I was absolutely convinced that the man did not believe his own words.
I don’t have any problem with any politician jumping ship to any side of the political divide. After all this is the season of political harlotry.
But, my simple advice to the likes of Zipapa, Ababu Namwamba, prof Ongeri, Mng’aro, Mvurya, Onyango Oloo and the rest who are defecting to new parties is: instead of telling us how bad your former parties were, yet we know you don’t really mean it, just tell us what value you are bringing to your new parties and what you intend to do for Kenyans. SIMPLE. Anything else is taking Kenyans for a ride.

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