1. Hiding from the truth. Most people, at the first sign of distress, would rather deny the hard truth than face it. But the truth does not cease to exist when it is ignored. When you try to ignore it, you will find yourself living a lie every day as the truth haunts your thoughts every night. Don’t do this to yourself. Face the facts. You simply can’t get away from your truth by moving dishonestly from one place to the next. The truth will set you free, but first it may tick you off for a while, and that’s OK. It’s always better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie. Because the truth hurts only once and then gradually fades, but a lie hurts just as bad every single time you remember you’re living it. (2). Gripping tight to the fantasy of a pain-free life. Pain is a part of life, and life’s pains have many shapes and sizes. There’s the cold feet pain of moving on ‒ graduating, taking the next step, walking away from the familiar and into the unknown. There’s the sharp growing pains of trial and error, of failing as you learn the best way forward. There’s the immense, dizzying pain of life slapping you in the face when everything you thought you knew wasn’t true, or everything you had planned for falls through. There are the more ambiguous aches and pains of success, when you actually get what you had hoped for, but then realize that it’s not quite what you had envisioned. And then, from time to time, there are the warm, tingling pains you feel when you realize that you are standing in a moment of sweet perfection, a priceless instant of achievement or happiness which you know cannot possibly last, and yet will remain with you forever. Even though so many folks forget, pain is actually a good thing. It means you’re breathing, and trying, and interacting with the endless possibilities in this world. Pain is for the living only; it’s worth fully accepting and dealing with while you still have a chance. (3). Revisiting the past over and over in your mind. Sadly, people all over the world are continuously telling their one dramatic story and how their entire life has turned into getting over this one event from the past. Now, every day of their lives are more about something that no longer exists, rather than the real life experiences waiting for them in the present. We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it. You become a prisoner when you cling to what no longer exists. If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello. It may be hard, but you have to let go. Cling no more! Realize that the past is like a foreign country – they do things differently there. And “they” have nothing to do with YOU RIGHT NOW. (4). Holding on to who you were before the storm. Hard times are like strong storms that blow against you. And it’s not just that these storms hold you back from places you might otherwise go. They also tear away from you all but the essential parts of your ego that cannot be torn, so that afterward you see yourself as you really are, and not merely as you might like to be. Ultimately, you realize you are here to endure these storms, to sacrifice your time and risk your heart. You are here to be bruised by life. And when it happens that you are hurt, or betrayed, or rejected, let yourself sit quietly with your eyes closed and remember all the good times you had, and all the sweetness you tasted, and everything you learned. Tell yourself how amazing it was to live, and then open your eyes and live some more. Because to never struggle would be to never grow. You must let go of who you were so you can become who you are. It is within the depths of the strongest and darkest storms that you discover within you an inextinguishable light, and it is this light that illuminates the right path forward. (5). “Worrying” or “thinking” a situation into something worse than it is. What worries you masters you. Needless worry and negative thinking will never lead to positive change. However, a positive attitude and a little action can change everything. So if you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Being hurt is something you can’t stop from happening, but being miserable is always your choice. No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse. Negative thinking creates negative results. Positive thinking creates positive results. Period. The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the “buts” you use today. Things always turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
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