5 Most Common Ways You Could Be Preventing Your Own Success

Working with mid- to high-level career women who’ve achieved great things in their lives, I’ve watched professionals build and sustain tremendous success over time, and also witnessed behaviors that crush success, leaving dreams and goals shattered in pieces on the ground. The behaviors that sabotage success fall into four key categories – in our relationship with ourselves, others, the world, and our higher selves.The sad truth is that the vast majority of people don’t realize when they’re destroying their chances for success and happiness. They remain oblivious to how they’re repelling the very outcomes they claim to be desperate for. And this type of self-sabotage leads to a great deal of pain and regret down the line. (I know because I sabotaged my own success ineach of these ways for years during my corporate life.) Below are some common (and harmful) ways people sabotage their own success and happiness, and some tips for revising these faulty behaviors. 1. You don’t develop strong enough boundaries From my training in marriage and family therapy and energy healing, I learned that your “boundaries” are the invisible barriers between you and the outside world (work, school, church, family, friends, etc.). Your boundaries regulate the flow of information and input to and from you and your outside systems. If you fail to understand yourself well enough (including your preferences, needs, values, and visions), or lack the necessary strength to create an appropriate boundary to enforce your non-negotiables, you’ll find success impossible to achieve. You might grasp it for a moment, but you won’t be able to sustain it in satisfying ways. Developing sufficient boundaries and enforcing them every day of your life is an essential skill. 2. You don’t identify the “right” decisions that will move them forward We make scores of life-altering decisions every day – from what job to take or reject, to the partners we’ll collaborate with, and new directions to pursue. These decisions can take us on painful detours if they clash fiercely with what we really want deep within. Do you understand how to make a decision so that it 1) aligns with what you know to be true, 2) adds to your capabilities and experience positive ways, and 3) creates new, beneficial opportunities for you? Most individuals have never learned how to make effective decisions – to evaluate with discernment the options in front of them, accurately assess the risks and benefits of each potential choice, and muster the courage to pursue the right decision. If your decisions don’t align what who you are authentically or what you deeply value and care about, you’ll squash your opportunities for true success, no matter how “good” the decision looks in the moment. 3. You communicate poorly and burn irreplaceable bridges In order to be successful in your career, you must learn to communicate effectively, with clarity, confidence, and compassion, from a place of kindness and respect for others. So many people burn critical bridges and slam doors on fabulous new opportunities because they don’t know the basics about communicating. You simply can’t maintain success over the long haul if you behave like a jerk, snob or narcissist, acting superior and remaining oblivious to the needs and desires of others. Success may come temporarily, but it will flow right through your fingers if your communication style irritates and offends people everywhere you go. 4. They follow rather than lead Learn how to be an inspiring leader of your own life. You might have taken leadership workshops and training classes about how to “act” and speak like a business leader, but none of that will work if you can’t lead your own life – if you don’t know how to serve as the master of your own ship, following your own command, your own vision, and beliefs. The key to lasting professional success is having the courage and commitment to empower, inspire and motivate yourself first. Once you do that, you will become better at leading and empowering others. Don’t be a follower. Lead your own life. When you do, you’ll see just how your personal leadership capability overflows into professional leadership. 5. They neglect to plant seeds for a future they’ll love Nobody may have taught you about career management. Your career won’t just flow in the right direction on its own – you must proactively shape it. Many people are beaten down by their daily existence– with bosses who won’t allow them to grow, toxic environments that suck the life out of them, jobs that make them numb. And this mind-numbing unhappiness paralyzes them, and makes them forget who they really are and what they’re capable of.Yes, you need to do what’s necessary to stay afloat financially, and that might mean you have to stay temporarily in a role you don’t like. But never sacrifice your future self. Find ways to plant the seeds for your future self every day, by building skills, strengths and experience in directions that will enliven you. Treat your future self with respect and care – and take actions that will help you move forward towards your right work, in the right way.And don’t forget – you’re much more than your current job (and much more than what your boss thinks of you). You’re amazing, talented and gifted, and the world needs your gifts. Don’t waste them. Get out there and start on the path to your “right” work – do something new that showcases what you’re uniquely gifted at and love to do. {Source: Forbes}